Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry have gone from a seemingly amicable break-up to a goddamn bare-knuckle brawl this week after the two reached a heated point in arranging visitation with their daughter Nahla and immediately lawyered up. They’ve now taken to the always productive press fight starting with Halle accusing Gabriel of putting their daughter in danger forcing him to respond that this all a matter of Halle losing a movie role and having nothing better to do.
(I would’ve gone with Wesley Snipes hitting her in the head so hard it permanently activated her crazy center, but that’s just me and my love of infallible logic.) Access Hollywood reports:

“While Gabriel is disappointed in Halle’s decision to falsely malign him publicly and for her own purposes, he refuses to be pulled into her dispute over a canceled film production. Gabriel also refuses to air their issues in the press as he believes this may ultimately harm their daughter. The fact is that Gabriel is a caring father who shares custody of Nahla,” the statement read.
“Gabriel fully believes that a consistent and balanced living situation and two loving parents are crucial for their child even if Ms. Berry feels otherwise. He will always defend his rights as a father and will always consider Nahla’s best interest. Halle’s continuing allegations in the press are untrue and irresponsible.”

In response, Halle’s people have gone to TMZ with accusations that Gabriel called her a “nigger” because French guys who are into black chicks always hurl American-based racial slurs. It’s an epidemic:

We’re told … in addition to calling her the “N” word, he would also call her a “f**king bitch” and other expletives. And the vulgarities are not limited to face-to-face confrontations. There are vulgar text messages as well.
As one source told TMZ, “He constantly demeaned her. It was awful.”

Wow. Are we honestly supposed to believe Halle Berry is the type of woman who takes shit from a man who probably cries over the delicateness of croissants? I mean, look, like most models Gabriel Aubry is probably a moron because, as I’ve repeatedly mentioned, he went on a date with Kim Kardashian under the assumption she wouldn’t alert 25 paparazzi to photograph them together. But at the same time, you’ve got an Oscar-winning millionaire who once told Bryan Singer to “kiss her black ass” suddenly playing the victim card here and launching a massive smear campaign because she’s got nothing but time and money on her hands. That said, Internet etiquette demands I mention she showed her tits in Swordfish which is probably going to let her get away with all this, and frankly, I’m having trouble arguing with that. They were so naked…